Oh Lord, It's Them
by Caden Speltke
Summary: Two girls hitch hike and wind up in South Park. Where they meet some weird people. Very weird people. But that's okay. They're weird too!
1. The Arrival

**Done for/with a friend. :3**

**If you are actually reading this, have funnn.**

**I only own Adney and Molly.**

**South Park and its characters are Matt and Treys.**

**Enjoy. :D**

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Two girls were standing by the road, thumbs up, mouths up turned in big grins. They were jerking their arms around. They were hitch hikers, and they seemed like they really needed a ride. At least, that's what the man driving the car thought as he pulled over, letting them in.

"So, where do you girls need to go?" He asked politely.

The tiny blonde fidgeted with her seatbelt for a few moments before giggling and looking towards the man.

"Yeah... Can you take me to Funky Town? AHRUHUR"

The brunette beside the blonde raised her hands to her mouth, trying hard to keep the leaking laugh inside. The blonde looked into the mans eyes and smiled wider than humanly possible. This time, the brunette spoke.

"WHAT SHE MEANS IS," she practically yelled, "Can you take us… Somewhere funky?" They both broke out laughing again.

The man, confused, smiled, and drove on, knowing EXACTLY where to take them. But they would probably regret it.

The man graciously had gotten the two women a hotel room for the evening. He had led them in, put them to bed, and left, continuing on his trip to some far away land. But not before leaving a note. When the two women had woken up, they found it on the dresser.

"_Well, ladies. You asked me to take you somewhere "funky" and I think I found you the right place. Welcome to South Park. Have a nice life._

_P.S – Don't mess with the Cartman kid, he's fucking crazy._"

The girls looked at each other in confusion.

"Molly… What did we do last night?" The brunette asked, frightened.

"… I don't really know, Adney." the one named Molly replied, equally frightened.

"Where's South Park?" Adney asked.

"I think it's in Colorado..?" Molly questioned herself.

They both, though scared, decided to check out the town of South Park. But before getting down the street, something happened. Something dreadfully awful. Molly vomited. And kept vomiting. Like she was a never ending bottomless pit of vomit.

Adney started freaking out. And believe me, it was bad.

"MOLLY. MOLLY OH MY GOD MOLLY! ARE YOU OKAY? OH MY GOD." Adney screamed at the top of her lungs.

"DDFHIHIF" Molly vomited some more.

"MMMMMOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY" Adney screamed, hugging her vomiting friend.

"fkdsjdfdDFGDFGDF" She continued puking.

"Are you kids alright?" Some man had walked up to them.

"NO MY FRIEND IS DYING AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND OH MY GOD IT'S GREEN!" Adney cried out.

"FDHSDJFSDHfsdjfhsdjkDF" Molly threw up once more, and finally stopped.

"Do you need a ride to the hospital?" The man casually asked.

Adney and Molly looked up to see the man fully, for all they really saw in those few moments were his pants.

The man had dark hair and a moustache. He wasn't that good looking, but he seemed nice. He had a blue shirt with black pants. And he has a tiny smile on his face.

"Uh, no, I think she'll be okay now," Adney said, looking to her friend.

"Y-yea. Just a slight hang over, you know?" She asked, smiling as best she could at that moment.

The man nodded and reached down and helped the two up.

"I'm Randy Marsh, and you are?" He questioned, noticing the new faces the two wore.

"I'm Molly Loretta!" Molly exclaimed with what strength she had left.

"And I'm Adney Vranitzky," the brunette said, performing a short curtsey.

"Ah. Well. You two should run along and site see if you're tourists." The man said, before saying his goodbyes and heading off.

Adney and Molly looked at each other, shrugged, and walked off. They were determined to see where they were before going back to the hotel. After all, it seemed like a tiny, boring town.

Boy, were they wrong.

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**Oh shi-**

**Damien and Pip next chapter. This was just setting it up. If you didn't already know that.**

**Yay! :3**


	2. Ninjas in the Bush

**Second Chapter. Wheeee!**

**Hope you enjoy it.**

**Again, I own only Molly and Adney.**

**South Park is not mine. It's Matt and Treys.  
**

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The two women walked about the town looking over the buildings, never actually stepping foot in one. They wondered around for what seemed like hours before arriving at a place named Stark's Pond. Molly looked around for a bit while Adney climbed a tree that didn't look too sturdy to begin with.

Molly, being the curious one she is, walked about for a little while longer before joining Adney in the tree.

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Adney asked, looking around.

"Uhh, I don't know. I guess we get jobs and an apartment?" Molly, the ever practical one, stated.

The two looked around for awhile longer in silence. Then they saw it. Two people, one with coal black hair, and one with light blonde, sitting in the snow. They were hugging, and laughing. But being the ever disruptive ones the two were, they decided to go ruin their moment.

Molly and Adney climbed out of the tree, landing with soft thumps as they hit the ground. They silently walked over to the two, keeping to the shadows. Because in their minds, they were ninjas. And damn good ones at that. Well, until Molly tripped and fell, grabbing a hold of Adney's shirt for support, causing both to fall into a bush with a loud scream and rustling dead leaves.

Almost instantly the coal black haired man was in front of them, looking really pissed off. Molly and Adney really didn't notice though, as they were busy laughing. And trying to get out of the bush, to no avail. So the man stepped in, ripping the girls out, despite the cries of pain. And this is where it got a bit physical.

Adney had reached up and slapped the man, to Molly and the blond boys horror. She glared at the man with the most evil glare she could muster. And the man returned it. Then the two got into a verbal fight.

"What were you doing, ripping us out of the bush like that, not even caring about the pain it would cause?" Adney hissed into his face.

"Saving your stupid ass from further embarrassment, that's what!" The man yelled into back into her face.

"You think you could do it a painless way, you fucking idiot!" She screamed, slapping the man once more.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT?" The man, clearly beyond pissed now, practically roared at her.

"WOULD YOU LEARN SOME MANNERS?" She shot back.

"WHAT HAS THIS GOT TO DO WITH MANNERS? I SAVED YOU FROM A BUSH." He glared ever more, a lot more, enough to scare away anybody else.

Before the fight could go on any longer, Molly had gotten in front of Adney, apologizing to the man. The little blonde boy had his arms around the man, trying to calm him down with calmer words.

"I'm sorry for my friend! She's a bit of a fighter," Molly apologized.

"Hmph," the man looked to the blond boy, "Pip, do you know these people?" He asked.

"No.." Pip answered, clearly in a British accent.

And that is the reason Molly and Adney attacked the boy. Well, not really attacking so much as jumping on him in a friendly manner squealing about how cute he was. Which caught him off guard.

"AWWWWWWW. LOOK AT HIM! ISN'T HE CUTE!" Molly screeched, pinching his cheeks.

"I KNOW RIGHT? DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO HUG HIM. AND SMOTHER HIM. AND BRAID HIS HAIR?" Adney screeched back.

The two squished him into a hug, causing the little British boy to slightly squeal out of fear. And then the two were pulled off him. By an extremely pissed man, who looked like he was ready to kill. In a few seconds.

"Damien, don't hurt them!" The blond boy squeaked.

"And why not?" Damien asked, looking at the boy.

"Because, I don't think they know who you are!" He quickly spoke.

"… Fine. Just because they don't know… And for you." Damien dropped the girls and turned his back to them.

The one named Pip got up and looked to the two girls, who still didn't realize the danger they had been in. He smiled and offered his hand, allowing the two to shake it.

"Hello. My name is Philip Pirrip, but everyone calls me Pip," he smiled wider, "And you two are?"

"I'm Molly Loretta. Pleased to meet you," she smiled warmly at the boy.

"And I'm Adney Vranitzky!" She curtsied.

"Would you like to join us for some tea?" The cheery boy asked.

"Sure!" Molly enthusiastically agreed.

Damien sighed. It was just like his blonde to be so friendly. Oh well. Pip dragged them off to have tea and to get to know each other.

And this is how Damien and Pip came to know Molly and Adney. Which they would forever regret, most likely. As they were the type of people one would regret meeting. Well. Only the normal people. So maybe they wouldn't regret it, after all!

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**I really do hope you enjoyed. I know I'm not good at writing. But I do try. xD**

**Next chapter we REALLY get going with some madness.**

**Do come back and enjoy next chapter. :3**


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